21 Questions Game: 7 Ready-Made Sets for Dates, Couples and Texting

By Jordan Underwood, Founder of Playmate Labs · Last updated: October 2026

The 21 questions game is simple: one person asks 21 questions, the other answers every one honestly, then you swap. It's one of the easiest ways to get to know a crush, a date or a partner. Below are seven ready-made sets of exactly 21 questions, for a first date, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, deep, funny, flirty and over text, plus the rules for both versions of the game.

Most lists online give you 150 questions and leave you to pick. That isn't how the game is played. You need one round of 21 that flows, starts easy and builds to something better. So every set here is a full round, in order. Use one as it is, or mix questions from different sets once you get going.

How to play the 21 questions game

There are two games called 21 questions. The one most people mean today is the getting-to-know-you version.

Version one: 21 questions to get to know someone

• Take turns. One of you asks all 21 questions, or you alternate one question each until you've both asked 21.
• Answer honestly. That's the only real rule. A short true answer beats a long clever one.
• Two passes each. Agree before you start that each player can skip two questions with no explanation. It makes people braver with the rest.
• Follow-ups are free. If an answer is interesting, ask "why?" or "then what?". Follow-ups don't count towards the 21.
• Answer your own question. On a date, it feels fairer if the asker answers too. It also stops it feeling like a job interview.

A full round takes about 20 to 40 minutes face to face. Over text it can happily stretch across an evening, or a week.

Version two: the guessing game

The older version is a cousin of twenty questions. One player thinks of a person, place or thing. The others ask up to 21 yes-or-no questions to work out what it is. Guess it within 21 and you win. Miss, and the thinker wins and picks again. It's a good game for long car journeys, but it won't tell you much about the person in the passenger seat. The rest of this page is about the getting-to-know-you version.

21 questions for a first date or getting to know someone

Light, specific and easy to answer, with a couple near the end that open things up. Nothing here needs a deep breath first.

1. What did you do last weekend that you'd happily do again this weekend?
2. Which app do you use most, and are you proud of it?
3. What's a small thing that turns an ordinary day into a good one?
4. What's the best thing you've eaten this year?
5. Where's the last place you went that surprised you?
6. What's your job like on a good day?
7. What do your friends come to you for?
8. Do you plan holidays to the hour, or book the flight and wing it?
9. What's a skill you picked up as an adult?
10. Which city would you move to tomorrow if work didn't matter?
11. What were you obsessed with at fourteen?
12. What's the most-played song in your life right now?
13. Morning person, night person, or neither?
14. What are you looking forward to this month?
15. Have you got siblings, and where do you come in the line-up?
16. What's an opinion you hold that most people disagree with?
17. How would you spend a rainy Sunday with nothing planned?
18. Which smell takes you straight back to being a kid?
19. What was the last thing that made you laugh out loud?
20. What are you weirdly good at?
21. What made you say yes to tonight?

21 questions to ask your boyfriend

For when you're past the basics but there's plenty you still haven't covered. For a longer list, see our questions to ask your boyfriend.

1. Which moment from your childhood do you think shaped you most?
2. Which friend have you known longest, and how did you meet?
3. What would you like to get better at this year?
4. When do you feel most confident?
5. What does a perfect lazy day look like for you?
6. Which of your parents' habits have you picked up without meaning to?
7. Which film would you defend to anyone?
8. What's the best advice someone older has given you?
9. What's something you've never told me because it felt too small?
10. Where does your head go when you're stressed?
11. What would you do with four weeks off and nowhere you had to be?
12. Which sport did you play as a kid, and would you go back to it?
13. What did you think of me the first time we spoke?
14. What's the most-used thing you own that cost under a fiver?
15. Who's someone you admire that most people haven't heard of?
16. What's a tiny moment of ours you think I've forgotten?
17. What could you talk about for an hour without notes?
18. Which meal tastes like home to you?
19. Which class would you sign us both up for?
20. What did you do this year that a younger you would be impressed by?
21. What's one thing I do that makes you feel looked after?

21 questions to ask your girlfriend

A mix of her past, her plans and the two of you. There are more in our list of questions to ask your girlfriend.

1. Which book have you pressed on more than one friend?
2. What did your bedroom look like at sixteen?
3. Which friend makes you laugh most, and why?
4. What's a compliment you still remember years later?
5. What's your idea of a properly good night out?
6. What are you quietly ambitious about?
7. Which trip changed you a little?
8. What do you do when you need to recharge?
9. Which family tradition would you like to keep going?
10. Which song takes you straight back to one particular summer?
11. What are you proud of that you rarely mention?
12. What's the kindest thing a stranger has done for you?
13. What were you like at school?
14. What's worth paying extra for, in your opinion?
15. What instantly puts you in a bad mood?
16. Which song of mine did you secretly start listening to after we met?
17. Where's one place you want us to go together?
18. Which of my little habits would you miss if I stopped?
19. Who in your family are you most like?
20. What does feeling at home mean to you?
21. What do you want more of in your life right now?

21 deep questions

Save these for a long evening, not a loud bar. Answer them yourself as well, and use your passes freely. If you like this set, the best-known deep question list is the psychologist Arthur Aron's 36 questions, published in 1997, which builds closeness the same way: slowly and in turns.

1. What did you believe at twenty that you've since changed your mind about?
2. What are you still learning to forgive yourself for?
3. Where are you when you feel most at ease?
4. What's a fear you've grown out of?
5. What would you like people to say about you when you're eighty?
6. What's the hardest goodbye you've had to say?
7. Which age has been your favourite so far?
8. What does "enough" look like for you?
9. Which is harder for you: giving comfort or accepting it?
10. Who taught you what love looks like?
11. What's the bravest decision you've made?
12. Which part of your personality took you longest to accept?
13. What question do you wish someone would ask you?
14. What are you carrying around that you'd like to put down?
15. How do you know when you trust someone?
16. What's a loss that still shapes you?
17. If you could send a message to yourself ten years ago, what would it say?
18. What do you need more of when life gets hard?
19. What's a line you won't cross, even when crossing it would be easier?
20. What makes you feel properly listened to?
21. What are you most grateful for that you rarely say out loud?

21 funny questions

For breaking the ice, rescuing a quiet moment, or a round you'll both be laughing about later.

1. What's the worst present you've ever pretended to love?
2. Which food would you ban from the country if you could?
3. What's the most ridiculous thing you've cried at?
4. If your life had a laughter track, which moment would get the biggest laugh?
5. What's the strangest thing in your fridge right now?
6. Which fictional character would you trust to do your weekly shop?
7. What's a party trick you can still do?
8. Which household object would you be, and why?
9. What's the worst fancy dress you've ever worn?
10. What's the daftest way you've ever injured yourself?
11. If you could only eat one crisp flavour forever, which would it be?
12. What's the most British thing you do?
13. Which actor would play you in the film of your life?
14. Which celebrity would you want to be stuck in a lift with?
15. What's the worst message you've sent to the wrong person?
16. Which conspiracy theory do you half believe?
17. What would your superpower be, and how would you waste it?
18. What's the most embarrassing song on your playlist?
19. If you were a sandwich, what would be in you?
20. What was the silliest rule in your house growing up?
21. Who would you mute for a day if you had one free pass?

21 flirty questions

Flirty, not explicit. These work with a crush you're getting to know or a partner of ten years, and either of you can pass.

1. What caught your eye about me before I'd said a word?
2. What would a perfect date with me look like?
3. What do I wear that you like most?
4. When did you first want to kiss me?
5. What's the most romantic thing you've seen a stranger do?
6. What do you like about the way I look at you?
7. Where would you take me if we could go anywhere this weekend?
8. Which compliment of mine has stuck with you?
9. What song would you put on if we were dancing in the kitchen?
10. Are you a hand-holder in public?
11. What's the most attractive skill someone can have?
12. What's your favourite moment of ours so far?
13. What would our perfect night in look like?
14. What do I do that makes you smile without me knowing?
15. Who do you think flirted first, you or me?
16. What's your best chat-up line, and has it ever worked?
17. Which film kiss is the best ever made?
18. Slow dance or candlelit dinner?
19. If we could replay one evening together, which would you pick?
20. What do you like about my voice?
21. What would you write if you left me a note right now?

21 questions to play over text

Short to answer, easy to send and made for the gaps in a day. Send one at a time and let the conversation wander between them. For more ideas, see our flirty texts to send your partner.

1. What are you doing right now, honestly?
2. Send me the last photo in your camera roll, then explain it.
3. What's your current go-to snack?
4. What's playing in your ears today?
5. Which emoji sums up your week so far?
6. What's the nicest thing someone said to you today?
7. What did you have for lunch, and would you recommend it?
8. What's on your to-do list that you're avoiding?
9. If I turned up right now, what would we do?
10. What are you watching at the moment?
11. What was the highlight of your weekend?
12. Rate your day out of ten, and tell me why.
13. What's the next date in your calendar you're excited about?
14. What's a voice note you'd never dare send?
15. What's your most-used phrase in our chats?
16. Coffee or tea while you're texting me?
17. What made you think of me today?
18. What's one thing you'd change about today?
19. Which GIF best describes you right now?
20. What's a question you've been waiting for me to ask?
21. What should we do next time we see each other?

How to make 21 questions better

• Start light, end deep. Every set above builds that way. Jumping straight to "hardest goodbye" on a first date is a lot.
• Listen for the second answer. The first answer is often the safe one. A gentle "and what else?" gets you the real one.
• Keep it even. If one of you answers all 21 and the other answers none, it's an interview. Swap regularly.
• Don't keep score. This version has no winner. If you want a game with points, play the Mr and Mrs questions game or our couples quiz.
• Come back to it. The same questions get different answers a year later. That's half the fun with a long-term partner.

When you've finished a round, there's plenty more to talk about. Try our conversation starters for couples for easy openers, or the big list of questions to ask your partner for 155 more. If you'd like a game that does the asking for you on a night in, Nude Stack'd is our date-night stacking game for couples (adults 18+): each block you pull sends you to a card with three levels, and anyone can skip any card.

Frequently asked questions

What are the rules of 21 questions?

One player asks 21 questions and the other answers each one honestly, then you swap. Most people agree on two passes each before starting, and follow-up questions don't count towards the 21.

Is 21 questions a romantic game?

It can be. It's mostly played to get to know a crush, a date or a partner, so the questions are personal. It's as romantic as the questions you choose: use a first date set to keep it light or a flirty set to turn it up.

How do you play 21 questions over text?

Send one question at a time and wait for the answer before sending the next. Answer each one yourself as well. Over text a round can run across an evening or several days, which is part of the appeal.

What is the difference between 21 questions and 20 questions?

Twenty questions is a guessing game: one player thinks of something and the others ask yes-or-no questions to work out what it is. 21 questions usually means the getting-to-know-you game, where you ask each other 21 personal questions, although some people play the guessing game with 21 questions instead of 20.

Related Reading

• Questions to ask your boyfriend
• Questions to ask your girlfriend
• Conversation starters for couples
• Mr and Mrs questions
• Couples quiz: how well do you know your partner?