Been together for a while now? You’ve probably had your ups and downs with the intimacy. Think about it, whether it’s career pressures, the kids, social, or schedules– we often don’t stop to enjoy the view, things creep in and seem to steal centre stage.
Especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, at points it can feel like you’re living with someone more akin to a best friend – and we love our friends right? It’s just we probably wouldn't share a bed with them every night.
This is entirely normal. A decrease in sexual activity doesn't mean your best days are behind you or the love is gone. In fact, a decline in sexual desire over time is well-documented and completely natural. Not fun, granted - but common enough among couples.
Ever heard of the Coolidge effect?
Extensive research indicates that both animals and humans experience heightened sexual desire when a new partner is introduced. Consequently, it’s not uncommon for couples, particularly those in long-term relationships, to encounter periods of "sexual boredom". Given the intricate systems that influence sexual desire, this is hardly surprising. Yawnnn
The good news is that reigniting sexual desire often involves introducing something new with your partner to rekindle intimacy. It can be anything—novelty is key. Even the simplest actions can spark excitement or deepen your connection.
"communication is lubrication" - Dr Emily Morse
Now that doesn’t mean you have to completely dive headfirst into strap-ons & threesomes for the sake of “novelty”. Well you could if that's what gives you a kick in the you know, but for most, well the smallest sentiments can have some truly profound suggestive power and go a long way to strengthening your relationship and putting a little sweetness back on the table.
5 Intimate ideas that might help initiate a stir on date night:
1. Reframe your ideas of what “sex” or “foreplay” is
![]()
I know what your thinking, "I know what foreplay is you cheeky little.." But let’s just reframe for a second.
You can start engaging in so many ways outside of sex. Studies show that women often get more satisfaction from clitoral stimulation than vaginal penetration anyway. So intercourse doesn’t need to be reserved as the “main event” – you could even take intercourse of the table to make things interesting. Remember oral sex, fingering and dry humping can be just as pleasurable.
You’re never out of foreplay.
Even small daily actions, like holding hands in public or sharing a spontaneous kiss, can bring more depth and excitement to your love life. Trying out unique activities that show sexual or romantic intimacy can really boost your relationship.
Everything is foreplay – everything is building anticipation.
Think of the term “sexual currency” - all the little things you do with your partner that you wouldn’t do with a friend. The suggestive texts, the gentle physical touch – the bum grabs, romantic gifts, date ideas – sharing some intimacy chocolates by candlelight, the acts of service. Find all those little ways to turn your partner on.
Opening up your repertoire can be super rewarding and will certainly get your partner smiling cheek to cheek.
So who's cheeky now?
Related Article: 10 Foreplay Ideas to Explore Sensory Play with Playmate Chocolate
2. Experiment with intimate games, cards, prompts & questions.
![]()
Now we’ve mentioned changing things up or putting in a rule for date night to make things interesting, but we can take this further. Having some fun with curious question, games or prompts can support healthy communication and strengthen bonds whilst simultaneously getting those juices flowing without huge amounts of preparation.
Glass of wine? Some Playmate’s aphrodisiac chocolate? Wouldn't need to ask us twice.
Whether that's talking about future plans, turn-ons, questions that re-enforce emotional safety, sexual intimacy – even revisiting initial attraction and first impressions for nostalgia, we’ve got you.
Check our article on 55 Romantic Questions for Couples.
3. Reduce Stress and Anxiety
![]()
Try scented candles, massage oils, aphrodisiac foods – create calming sensory experiences.
Our primitive brains can’t separate that report we have to submit into work tomorrow and the sabretooth tiger walking into our bedroom. Stress is stress. And high levels of cortisol or anxiety in our brains can often make it difficult to become aroused or experience high levels of sexual desire.
This is because the natural human response to anxiety is guess what?....Avoidance.
It's all starts upstairs (in your head). Be a partner that can support creating low stress environments. Creating low vibration sensory experiences are a fantastic way to set a tone and candles, oils and aphrodisiacs can often do the trick.
Playmate’s chocolate are intimacy chocolates containing clinically proven ingredients and have been crafted with your love life in mind. One of its ingredients for example KSM-66 Ashwagandha is known to support emotional balance and reduced levels of stress. Not to mention it promotes increased sexual desire... now that's sweet talk!
4. Break routine.
![]()
Now for some this might be a new sex toy or position. Incorporating new toys into your intimate experience can be a fantastic way to add some excitement and try something new but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and we can appreciate that so for the purpose of this article let’s focus on something even more nuanced. Something you can do no matter what your preferences are outside of sex.
Ask yourself: What do I wear to bed? Old t-shirt? Very inviting...erm not.
“Over 70% of sexually unsatisfied couples don’t sleep naked together,” says Velotta.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with your oversized t-shirt you've been wearing since college but maybe try some fancy smancy pj’s or sexy underwear. Simply sleeping naked together could be revolutionary and might just prompt the little spontaneity you've been looking for. Old t-shirt for a little excitment, seems like a fair trade to me!
Adding some rules of engagement and swapping in and out other forms of pleasure like fingers only, or more oral etc can also be a great way to “mix things up”
5. Make a f*ck-it list
![]()
Here’s the thing. Talking about sex is difficult enough when things are going great and you’re telling your partner what you want more of. But when intimacy has become infrequent, you’ve been through a lot of changes or it’s just not something you regularly discuss, realistically it can be incredibly intimidating.
With that in mind it’s probably one of the most vital parts of a healthy relationships. Numerous studies have found that “sex talks” play a significant role in building a highly satisfying sexual dynamic in a relationship. One study showed how couples that try new and exciting things together experienced higher levels of reltionship satisfaction.
Now if having these conversations come naturally then happy days, good for you – for many of us however it can be difficult to know where to start. Starting light with our 55 questions for couples is a good place. Another idea is to create a menu of sorts.
Kind of like a bucket list or a wish list but for sexual things you’d like to do more of. This is a positive way to discuss your sexual Accelerators & Brakes (Your hot or nots) without creating stigmas. It’s super fun – we call it a f*ck-it lists.
Give yourself an emotionally safe space, confident in your ability to share fantasies, guilty pleasures and be comfortable to communicate your desires - you are one step closer in bringing them to life.
You never know, you’ll probably stumble on some similar fantasies or interests, find some compromises and end up trying something new.
Mutual Satisfaction. Isn’t it nice when that happens...
Playmate?
The Role of Novelty in Satisfying Long-term Relationships
Been together for a while now? You’ve probably had your ups and downs with the intimacy. Think about it, whether it’s career pressures, the kids, social, or schedules– we often don’t stop to enjoy the view, things creep in and seem to steal centre stage.
Especially if you’re in a long-term relationship, at points it can feel like you’re living with someone more akin to a best friend – and we love our friends right? It’s just we probably wouldn't share a bed with them every night.
This is entirely normal. A decrease in sexual activity doesn't mean your best days are behind you or the love is gone. In fact, a decline in sexual desire over time is well-documented and completely natural. Not fun, granted - but common enough among couples.
Ever heard of the Coolidge effect?
Extensive research indicates that both animals and humans experience heightened sexual desire when a new partner is introduced. Consequently, it’s not uncommon for couples, particularly those in long-term relationships, to encounter periods of "sexual boredom". Given the intricate systems that influence sexual desire, this is hardly surprising. Yawnnn
The good news is that reigniting sexual desire often involves introducing something new with your partner to rekindle intimacy. It can be anything—novelty is key. Even the simplest actions can spark excitement or deepen your connection.
Now that doesn’t mean you have to completely dive headfirst into strap-ons & threesomes for the sake of “novelty”. Well you could if that's what gives you a kick in the you know, but for most, well the smallest sentiments can have some truly profound suggestive power and go a long way to strengthening your relationship and putting a little sweetness back on the table.
5 Intimate ideas that might help initiate a stir on date night:
1. Reframe your ideas of what “sex” or “foreplay” is
I know what your thinking, "I know what foreplay is you cheeky little.." But let’s just reframe for a second.
You can start engaging in so many ways outside of sex. Studies show that women often get more satisfaction from clitoral stimulation than vaginal penetration anyway. So intercourse doesn’t need to be reserved as the “main event” – you could even take intercourse of the table to make things interesting. Remember oral sex, fingering and dry humping can be just as pleasurable.
You’re never out of foreplay.
Even small daily actions, like holding hands in public or sharing a spontaneous kiss, can bring more depth and excitement to your love life. Trying out unique activities that show sexual or romantic intimacy can really boost your relationship.
Everything is foreplay – everything is building anticipation.
Think of the term “sexual currency” - all the little things you do with your partner that you wouldn’t do with a friend. The suggestive texts, the gentle physical touch – the bum grabs, romantic gifts, date ideas – sharing some intimacy chocolates by candlelight, the acts of service. Find all those little ways to turn your partner on.
Opening up your repertoire can be super rewarding and will certainly get your partner smiling cheek to cheek.
So who's cheeky now?
Related Article: 10 Foreplay Ideas to Explore Sensory Play with Playmate Chocolate
2. Experiment with intimate games, cards, prompts & questions.
Now we’ve mentioned changing things up or putting in a rule for date night to make things interesting, but we can take this further. Having some fun with curious question, games or prompts can support healthy communication and strengthen bonds whilst simultaneously getting those juices flowing without huge amounts of preparation.
Glass of wine? Some Playmate’s aphrodisiac chocolate? Wouldn't need to ask us twice.
Whether that's talking about future plans, turn-ons, questions that re-enforce emotional safety, sexual intimacy – even revisiting initial attraction and first impressions for nostalgia, we’ve got you.
Check our article on 55 Romantic Questions for Couples.
3. Reduce Stress and Anxiety
Try scented candles, massage oils, aphrodisiac foods – create calming sensory experiences.
Our primitive brains can’t separate that report we have to submit into work tomorrow and the sabretooth tiger walking into our bedroom. Stress is stress. And high levels of cortisol or anxiety in our brains can often make it difficult to become aroused or experience high levels of sexual desire.
This is because the natural human response to anxiety is guess what?....Avoidance.
It's all starts upstairs (in your head). Be a partner that can support creating low stress environments. Creating low vibration sensory experiences are a fantastic way to set a tone and candles, oils and aphrodisiacs can often do the trick.
Playmate’s chocolate are intimacy chocolates containing clinically proven ingredients and have been crafted with your love life in mind. One of its ingredients for example KSM-66 Ashwagandha is known to support emotional balance and reduced levels of stress. Not to mention it promotes increased sexual desire... now that's sweet talk!
4. Break routine.
Now for some this might be a new sex toy or position. Incorporating new toys into your intimate experience can be a fantastic way to add some excitement and try something new but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and we can appreciate that so for the purpose of this article let’s focus on something even more nuanced. Something you can do no matter what your preferences are outside of sex.
Ask yourself: What do I wear to bed? Old t-shirt? Very inviting...erm not.
Hey, there's nothing wrong with your oversized t-shirt you've been wearing since college but maybe try some fancy smancy pj’s or sexy underwear. Simply sleeping naked together could be revolutionary and might just prompt the little spontaneity you've been looking for. Old t-shirt for a little excitment, seems like a fair trade to me!
Adding some rules of engagement and swapping in and out other forms of pleasure like fingers only, or more oral etc can also be a great way to “mix things up”
5. Make a f*ck-it list
Here’s the thing. Talking about sex is difficult enough when things are going great and you’re telling your partner what you want more of. But when intimacy has become infrequent, you’ve been through a lot of changes or it’s just not something you regularly discuss, realistically it can be incredibly intimidating.
With that in mind it’s probably one of the most vital parts of a healthy relationships. Numerous studies have found that “sex talks” play a significant role in building a highly satisfying sexual dynamic in a relationship. One study showed how couples that try new and exciting things together experienced higher levels of reltionship satisfaction.
Now if having these conversations come naturally then happy days, good for you – for many of us however it can be difficult to know where to start. Starting light with our 55 questions for couples is a good place. Another idea is to create a menu of sorts.
Kind of like a bucket list or a wish list but for sexual things you’d like to do more of. This is a positive way to discuss your sexual Accelerators & Brakes (Your hot or nots) without creating stigmas. It’s super fun – we call it a f*ck-it lists.
Give yourself an emotionally safe space, confident in your ability to share fantasies, guilty pleasures and be comfortable to communicate your desires - you are one step closer in bringing them to life.
You never know, you’ll probably stumble on some similar fantasies or interests, find some compromises and end up trying something new.
Mutual Satisfaction. Isn’t it nice when that happens...
Playmate?